What you want to know about Jess, Otto and our life together
Dog anxiety medication, bad mental health days, our renovation and more...
There are 600 new faces around here after my email about Otto last week 🤯. Taking care of the little guy is one of the hardest things we’ve ever done. There are lots of days where I’m tearing my hair out but knowing that so many of you are cheering us on gives me a real lift. Thank you for being here and for all the kind words you’ve been sending my way.
As so many of you are new to this newsletter I thought I’d answer some of your questions about Jess, Otto and our lives together, starting with an oldie but a goodie…
Why do you and Jess have the same name?
We’re Jess’s third home, which means we didn’t choose her name ourselves. When we decided to go and meet her (she was living in Leeds before she came home with us) we knew that the name thing was going to be an issue. It would be ridiculous to have two Jesses in one house. We imagined that, if we loved her and wanted to take her home, we’d probably change it. Once she arrived with us though, it became clear that she had a lot of worries on her plate and we lost heart. She immediately became known as Jess the Dog and, although it’s often embarrassing, it’s rarely been confusing.
Does Jess ever get jealous of the attention that Otto gets?
Otto’s needs are so demanding that it’s taken a lot of our attention away from Jess. To begin with we felt guilty but, as time’s gone on, we’ve realised that it’s great for her. She’s very happy with her own company, especially as she’s getting older, and she spends most of her days upstairs on our bed watching the world go by out of the window.
With this realisation my content has shifted, too. I spend less time doing photoshoots with Jess and instead I try to capture her as she goes about her business. I think she has appreciated these changes and we still love giving her all the fuss in the world whenever she asks for it.
Where do your dogs sleep?
Please accept my answer in the form of a diagram:
Phase one lasts from bed time until about 1am when Jess gets into our bed. She squeezes in as close to me as possible with her head under the cover and her bum on my pillow. I both love and hate this.
How did the dogs cope with the renovation?
By the time Otto came to live with us we’d finished making major changes to our house. There was lots of decorating left to do and carpets to go down but nothing loud, dusty or that would require us to move out and stay somewhere else. It wouldn’t have been fair to bring home a new dog while we were living on a building site.
Jess has been with us ever since we started, though. From the day we moved in we made sure that she always had a cosy space that was just for her. At first we didn’t have comfy human furniture to sit on but as soon as we got our sofa delivered she was happy.
Jess doesn’t like having strangers in the house so it’s taken some careful management. We had to stay with family on and off to make sure we were taking care of her needs during building phases. She’s been a trooper, though, and we’re all reaping the benefits now!
Are the dogs on anxiety meds? Can you talk more about that?
Jess and Otto are each on multiple medications to help them cope with their anxiety. It’s a lot of effort (and money) but it’s behind some big changes in their behaviour and quality of life. I get lots of questions about which medications they’re on and it’s something I’ve chosen not to share, purely because it won’t be very helpful. If you’re worried about your dog’s behaviour the first port of call will always be your vet. They’ll be able to direct you to the right drugs for your dog’s specific needs and it’ll almost certainly be a different combo to the ones Jess and Otto are taking.
Will you write more books?
In June last year I found myself at the HarperCollins author party in a pair of scruffy trainers, feeling like a fish out of water. It was amazing to be surrounded by writers and I made a promise to myself that it wouldn’t be the last time! If you want to see another book from me (🤞) the best way to support me is to:
Buy a copy of Worried Whippet: A Book of Bravery (ideally from your local bookshop)
Write a review
Tell your friends about it
You’ll make Jess the Dog and I very happy in the process!
What do you do on a bad mental health day?
The first thing I do on a bad mental health day is talk to my husband or a friend about how I’m feeling. I love running so I’ll try to put my trainers on and get outside. Often an early sign that my mental health isn’t great is that I get anxious about social plans or work deadlines so I’ve learned to quickly move or cancel anything that’s making me feel panicky.
My favourite things to do when I’m not feeling great are have a bath, whip out my bed socks and take some time out of my usual routine. Fresh air and a good audiobook helps, too.
How are you finding married life?
Olly and I met in a house share eight years ago and we’ve lived together ever since. We’ve had Jess for five years, we spend Christmas with each other’s families, we combined our finances years ago… For all intents and purposes we’ve been married for ages. Still, I can’t explain why it feels so nice having made it official. I love looking at Olly and knowing that we’re well and truly on the same team.
Anything you would do differently when transitioning to self-employment?
Having made two attempts in my life to go self-employed I can answer this with confidence. The first time, back in 2018, I did a “naked quit”. I left a job that was making me miserable without another one lined up. For the next 10 months I was struggling to find freelance clients, unable to make enough money to live on. My self esteem hit the floor and in the end I managed to find another full-time position to keep myself afloat.
The second time came at the end of 2022 when I left another job that was bad for my mental health and decided to try and take my Instagram full-time. I was already earning some money through brand partnerships, I had a few months’ severance pay to rely on and I had four more years of experience and confidence under my belt. It made all the difference. If it’s something you’re considering my advice would be: save up some money, find some clients before you take the leap and make sure you back yourself 100%.
This is the section of my newsletter where I share the things that have given me a little lift recently in the hopes they might do the same for you! Sometimes these links are affiliate links but they’re always things I’m using myself and finding joy in. Feel free to hit reply and let me know what’s on your Little Lift List at the moment. I’m always looking for recommendations.
This playlist. My friend Jack (aka Duskbloom) has just released a song called Safe and Sound. It’s a celebration of taking care of yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed and it’s lovely. This playlist is full of sweet, uplifting songs in a similar vibe and it’s been on repeat in my house all week.
The Roost. We’ve just got back from a two-night stay in a glamping cabin in the Forest of Dean with the dogs. It was glorious! We walked in the woods, played games by the wood burning stove and sat in a Japanese soaking tub and looked at the stars. This was a gifted stay but we’re already planning to go back for a paid one soon!
This umami paste. This stuff is expensive but heavenly! My Mum bought me some for Christmas and it’s started an obsession. My brother just moved to America and I snaffled the rest of his from his fridge before he left. We’re really into stir fries at the moment and we’re adding this to everything we make, it’s delicious.